Fallen Angels
by Yui-Mag
Summary: Hisoka thinks outloud about the differences between angels and demons


Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei characters are not my own. 

Fallen Angels

                Hisoka bit the sigh that wanted to escape his lips until the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. The wound was small and it healed in a mere amount of seconds. It wasn't like the mental wound his partner had. That wound, Hisoka knew, would take years to heal… if it even ever did. And that was why he was trying not to sigh. 

                The older man sat a couple feet from him, trying to act as if all in the world was well and that sweets were the greatest thing in the world. His emotions and thoughts said something else entirely. They were dark and heavy with despair. And though part of Tsuzuki knew that he was loved, that he should be happy for the love they felt for him… he felt he didn't deserve it. The words that Muraki had spoken to him, the ones that had helped lead him further into his own despair kept haunting him. Repeating themselves into his own mind until they were carved there. Such…pain…tiredness…

                Hisoka was overwhelmed by it. All the time. Even with the strongest of shield around him and Tsuzuki, it never left him. He had seen and he knew. 

                And yet it wasn't enough to know if he couldn't help take the pain away. He had thought, hoped that perhaps after the fire… after everything…just simply being together would be enough. That his acceptance would be enough. It wasn't. Of course it wouldn't be. 

                _Monster._ The thought came into his head even though it wasn't his. _Who am I kidding?_ Again and again. _Demon._ Green eyes lifted themselves from the paperwork they had been trying to read. _Demon…I am…not…human._ Hisoka's fist curled and it was only with half of mind that he stood up, his chair making a grating noise as it was roughly pushed away from him. He walked to the windows, looking at the light filtering into their office. _How long will he want me to be with him… until he realizes…?_ Again…and again. _I'm a demon._ Again… and again. The green eyes shut and the pale face of a sixteen year old boy fell forward until it touched the cool window pane. 

                "-'Soka?" The physical voice of his seemed so light, so cheery…so _fake_. But the worry behind them was real. Very real. "Ne 'Soka…You-" The boy waved a hand at his partner cutting off the futile question before it even began. Silence fell in its place, awkward. Hisoka opened his eyes and saw the endless cherry petals swirling through the air. Falling. _Demon… He won't even talk to me!_Ever falling. _He doesn't trust me. _Falling.

                "They say…" His voice broke the silence. "…that demons were once angels." Hisoka caught hold of a petal and watched its course, never confusing it for another. "Fallen angels. But angels never the less." A sharp pain resounded through his head that wasn't his and his hand came up to grab at the window ledge. "Everyone knows that fallen angels can rise again if they wish to." He turned away. The petal had touched the ground. Violet eyes, wide, shocked, looked into his. "After all…that's what their wings are for isn't it?" The violet eyes blinked and blinked again before some understanding fled into them. Behind him, wind picked up the petal that Hisoka had watched before so intently, it rose… flying up. 

                "Angels?" Tsuzuki's voice was soft, fragile even. He looked down at his hands. 

                "Aa." Hisoka answered, voice even. "Angels." His green eyes never looked down. Their usual cold and sharp look had softened. They even warmed with slight hope as he saw the slight tug at Tsuzuki's lips. The beginning of a true smile in the man's older face. _But I could never…_ "Idiot." He answered the thought and the man's head snapped up. Softer this time, he repeated his usual insult. "Idiot." His green eyes challenged him to rebuke what he said, what he thought, what he felt. 

                "Always." The smile won. The wound was huge and had lasted over years to fester and carve itself into his mind but today it lessened at the strength he found in the empath's eyes. The boy would know better than anyone else, wouldn't he? Demon or angel. He would know. " 'Soka so smart!" Tsuzuki grinned as his comment was met with a blush and a stammered shut up came from his mouth. The boy started to make his way back to his desk as if to burry himself back into the paperwork but he stopped, turning back to give his partner one last measuring stare. 

The petal soared and reached the sky.

The pain was far from gone. But it would do for now. It would do…

                "Lets get some lunch, ne Tsuzuki?" 

The end…

Random, I know. But… the conversation just came to me and wouldn't leave my head. Forgive me for it if you can. 


End file.
